It’s been an interesting week. Lot of valuable lessons this week. Not just for me specifically. Alright lets start at the beginning.

Monday was business as usual. Had a nice workout, played some pokers. Nothing really eventful happened but it was a typical kind of Monday. I still felt the win lingering in the back of my mind, which is a great feeling. If you win so much at midstakes in a week, the period after that is really a freeroll.

Tuesday my dad called me reminding me of a doctor’s appointment we had. However, he never told me about it, so I had to cancel the stream unexpectedly. The appointment was at 3 pm, the nutlow of appointment times. So I cancelled the stream and worked on some stuff that had been laying around for a while.

The next morning on Wednesday I had another appointment with my dad. This time with the neurologist who is guiding us through everything and deciding on medication etc. Parkinsons is extremely varying. Almost no one has the same form or uses the same medication. You look at the symptoms and if you feel any better and adjust accordingly. They found out some stuff that tells us more about how it’s all gonna come down in a few years. This was an extremely rough conversation and my dad was pretty shattered after. Stuff like this leaves a huge impact and implications on everybody, most of all my dad. This was probably the toughest meeting we’ve had so far.

After sitting with my dad and his girlfriend for about an hour I went back home feeling pretty depleted and hollow. It also makes you feel extremely calm in a certain way. At least it does for me when bad shit happens and the first shock is over. Maybe this is what survival instinct does? It’s crazy how quickly human kind is able to accept a new situation and adjust or survive. When I got home I couldn’t wait to start streaming. I really enjoy myself in the stream. We should never take the community we have for granted, because it’s pretty special. The love and support and good vibes are so genuine whenever someone in the chat says something personal or is going through something.

In the end I wasn’t really able to focus. It’s funny how it goes. When I was crushing the Battle Royal and the $44 bounty everything was good. Then I lost some 70-30’s and the wheels came off. I got way too annoyed for a situation like that. And that’s when you see how important it is to make sure the conditions outside of poker are in order. With an office job you can have off-days and it sucks, but there are usually no gigantic implications. You take it easy, people around you do some extra to cover for you, people check your work a bit more and that’s how they help each other. Poker you have to do that all on your own. Huge mistakes or loss of concentration or tilt will result in money lost. It takes huge amounts of work to recover that money.

I was very happy to decide I was gonna quit for the day. As a supernice ending I won the $27 PLO Turbo which got us in the green for the day. Had a pretty decent evening and tried again the next day, but it was the same story. That’s really when I should have taken a day off. Just give it a day, let everything sink in. Go see a movie etc. Oh which I did later! I watched Arrival. I really liked it. Myrthe lost a bet and had to come see it and she hated it, but she doesn’t like sci-fi and fantasy LOL. Arrival uses modern day science theories and comes up with a really interesting interpretation. If you like the genre, definitely go see it!

Friday sweet Friday. I will always be excited about Friday. Especially now with a week like this. Friday felt like it was gonna be the release. To be honest, I could come up with a reason every week why this Friday is just what I needed. The one problem is that I WANTED it to be a fix this time. Some Fridays, the poker is just not cooperating. I accept it, and quit after a few hours and then it’s time for weekend. Some BUF’s last 8 hours and are epic and insane.

This time I was looking for it too much. Knowing conditions aren’t ideal and it was a rough week, what the hell was I thinking going to play €400 PLO. Also playing higher buyins in tourneys even though we decided Friday didn’t need that. Another lesson! An expensive one as it was the biggest loss on Friday so far. Everything made me decide to not do any weekend streams. I have been doing absolutely nothing this weekend, just chilling drinking and eating. Binged 11 hours of H1Z1 with gymmonkee, jajong, letjal, ucoward, aadpaling, bfrench and delloor among others yesterday which was awesome. (I always get so paranoid about leaving a name out because it’s fun to play with everyone but it happens sometimes!).

Today I’m gonna play a €50 win the button tournament at my local bar which will be good fun. I’m completely recharged and ready to go tomorrow. Life happens. Everyone has their issues. Don’t go in destructoid mode. Take a step back and deal with it.

Thanks for the love.